How to Tell Someone You're Not Interested: 15 Ways
Facing the task of telling someone you're not interested is never easy. It's important to be honest while respecting their feelings. Whether it's a friend, a coworker, or someone you just met, these messages are crafted to help you communicate your position clearly and kindly.
Hi [Name], I appreciate getting to know you, but I don't feel a connection. I hope you understand.
Keep it simple and straightforward to avoid confusion.
Hey [Name], I think you’re a great person, but I’m not feeling a romantic connection. Thanks for understanding.
Focus on complimenting them while being honest about your feelings.
I wanted to be upfront that I don’t see this going beyond friendship. I value our current relationship.
Setting clear boundaries is important in professional settings.
Hi [Name], I'm flattered you reached out, but I'm not looking for anything more than friendship right now.
This is a bit awkward, but I don't see us as more than friends. I hope that's okay with you.
Acknowledging the awkwardness can sometimes ease the tension.
Hey [Name], I enjoy our time together, but I’m not interested in pursuing anything further.
I really appreciate your interest, but I don't feel the same way. I hope we can still be cool.
I've enjoyed getting to know you, but I don't think we're a match romantically. Wishing you well.
Hi [Name], I just wanted to say that I'm not interested in a romantic relationship, but I think you're awesome.
Hey [Name], I think it’s best we just remain friends. It’s important to me that I’m honest with you.
Honesty is key; make sure to be clear about your intentions.
After thinking it over, I believe we’re better off as friends. I hope you agree.
Hi [Name], I wanted to be honest and say I’m not interested in pursuing a romantic relationship. I value our friendship though.
I appreciate your interest, but I'm not looking to date anyone right now. Thanks for understanding.
Hey [Name], I’ve been thinking and I don’t see this moving forward. I hope you understand.
Hi [Name], I’ve had a great time hanging out, but I’m not interested in anything romantic.
No messages match those filters — try widening one. Or build a custom message for your exact situation.
What not to say
- ✗ "It's not you, it's me."
This cliché sounds insincere and can come across as dismissive.
- ✗ "I'm too busy right now."
Implies that time is the only barrier, which can lead to false hope.
- ✗ "I just got out of a relationship."
While sometimes true, it suggests timing is the only issue.
- ✗ "You deserve better."
Can be patronizing and unclear about your personal disinterest.
Don’t see your exact moment?
Every situation is different. Tell the Message Builder what’s going on and it will write something just for yours.
Build a personal messageQuestions people ask
Is it better to text or call to say I'm not interested?
Texting is often better for new connections as it gives them space to process. For established relationships, a call might feel more respectful.
What if they ask for a reason why?
Be kind but honest. You can say you didn't feel a connection or that you're not interested in pursuing anything romantic.
Should I suggest staying friends?
Only if you genuinely want to maintain a friendship. Otherwise, it's okay to let them know you’d prefer to part ways.